Errmm!.. Morning guys, maybe I should start by sounding like Wande Coal.*been long you saw me*! Let’s break from that and go straight to the day’s talk!
Really don’t know the reason behind me wanting to drop these words today. Some few days ago, one of my female friends called me and she told me her boyfriend broke up with her after two (2) years, I asked her what went down and when she finished her story I found out she dated the guy for the wrong reasons.
That being said, some of my really close friends I’ve seen little of this piece, but seriously I must confess that I had completed this piece months ago(almost more than a year) but I’m scared to publish it- make my female friends no kill me ;), because I didn’t want to come across as being judgemental and if after reading this piece(series of them, cos I can’t talk about it all in this post) you feel judged or put down as a lady, Please I’m on my kneels, excuse my unskilled delivery, for that is not my intent. If you feel that I’ve over done it as a man sharing these with you, do not hesitate to express your disdain for my impetus!(X_x Big big english abi?! No mind me joor, thanks to Encarta Dictionary on my laptop.)
Before I go further, did I mention that I got inspiration from an article I read months ago before writing at all?….. Ok, now you know! 😉 I’ve always had it running in my head that I should write something about what is going on around me. The article I read on one photocopied piece of paper by one Emeka “something” about the mistakes women make motivated me to pick up my pen, my book and laptop to put something down from my own point of view!
Since I’ve said all that, I think I feel qualified to write this as a man because I stand as an unbiased observer and also one who has heard you from my Mother to my Aunts, to my cousins and my friends, I have heard you and will continue to listen whenever you speak. But I must confess, we as men have been taking, where we should have given, we took, where we should have loved, we lusted, where we should have preserved, we devoured. As a man, I must call myself to higher standards. Before I touch you, I must respect you like my Mother, protect you like my Sister and look out for your best interest like my Baby(after all, that’s what I call you when I want you! :)) We’ve failed to realize that the significance of our masculinity does not lie in how many girls we can deflower but rather the honour we can bestow upon one! We fail to understand that the purpose of our strength and dominance is to defend and protect not to attack and destroy.
Come to think of it, the first mistake was not yours(ladies). You were born into this part of the World (Nigeria) that didn’t even give you the chance- (the chance to be who you really are without any purpose or expectation) but I can see some strong ladies around me who do not allow this “part of the World” shape them! (They do what they want to do not what they have to do), I know them by name but I won’t mention names here! ;)…. From day one you were unconsciously groomed from childhood to be an acceptable accessory to a man’s life. You were constantly made conscious of a false milestone that suggested your value based upon a man finding you worthy to be his, instead of being made aware of who you are by virtue of your own unique existence. Your worth as a woman was reduced to 3 things; being a wife, your culinary skills and your ability to bear a child and in some places, you had to bear the right type of child (you know what I’m talking about right?.. “A male child”) and if per chance you failed in one of these areas, you were nobody, no-one – you were nothing!
Sadly, along the way you may have made some mistakes in trying to fufill this false notion of who you are supposed to be.
That being said, I do not believe men are to be blamed for all these things but what I know and believe is that we are responsible for allowing those things continue in us!. It’s in this light that I’m going to share with you some common mistakes women make in relationships in my subsequent posts only if I’m given permission by You, yes You! and you to continue :)! Please use the comment tab *winks*
Do have a lovely week…..
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